sometimes i feel really freaked out by my own body and i couldn’t even tell you why. i could say it’s because of my gender, but i don’t know if that’s it. i’m so detached from some aspects of my anatomy that remembering they exist makes me feel sick sometimes. thankfully, that isn’t the case all the time, but i would like it more if “not all the time” was “never.”

i want to be able to successfully pursue somebody because it means that i can take control of my own romantic endeavors instead of waiting around for other people to take notice. but at the same time i don’t because i don’t like the game of pursuit and it’s very tiring and i’m very easily discouraged. i hate having to work to ~get someone to like me~— if i’m not self-evidently attractive to them, why should i want to convince them otherwise? it seems coercive. but at the same time, i’m not self-evidently attractive to most people, so it’s a terrible catch-22 when i’m lonely and want somebody to mack on.

put someone in my life that i can devote my romantic feelings to and understand and depend on and hold dear and have a physical relationship with. it doesn’t matter who. many romantic relationships are fleeting and i am okay with that. i’m just so tired of being so unwanted.

there are a lot of people who would fit comfortably into my bed, but i don’t have room for more than one at a time and i don’t know how to devote my energy to causes that i’ve been told are lost before they start.

i just want somebody to be there, and i know a lot of wonderful somebodies, but nobody wants to be a “somebody.” i’m supposed to need them but nobody else, but how am i supposed to do that when doing so has bruised me so much.

I am really attracted to a girl and I dunno what to do about it. I dunno really how to flirt with people without being either awkward or overbearing— I’m especially hyperaware of being weird when I’m dealing with girls, because girls get so much shit from guys who are creepy or who can’t take a hint or who come on way too strong. I don’t wanna be that guy.

I guess as long as she doesn’t seem uncomfortable, I’m fine?? And if she does or says something that makes it seem like she’s not cool with what I’m doing, I just stop. And if I’m not sure, I know how to ask if what I’m doing is okay. I probably shouldn’t worry about this.

i think i’m self-conscious because i’m bad at flirting and i’ve only ever dated one girl and i have like really intense physical attraction to this girl so i just feel really awkward all the time hahaha rip slimm

i am put off by men who are intimidated by me

it would be cute in theory but in practice it really just makes me roll my eyes

kinda freaking out over what my prof said about me. i think this is the first time in my life that somebody in a place of knowledge and power has told me that i could make a real career out of my art.

i don’t.. i mean, i’ve never actually thought that! i don’t ever think about trying to ~change the world~, i don’t actively try to do things that are new or innovative, i just want to do things that are new to me. things i’ve never tried before and that will challenge me even if they aren’t supremely original. i don’t identify as ~an artist~, i’m just somebody that makes art— even calling the stuff that I do “art” feels pretentious. i like the things i make, i feel accomplishment in my pieces and i think i’m pretty good at what i do, but i never think much about what other people think of the things i make.

thank you, tom. it’s good to feel like i’m doing the right thing and going in the right direction. thank you for making me feel like i’m going somewhere.

i used to doubt that i was attracted to girls because i was not at all interested in having sex with them

i am no longer doubtful that i am attracted to girls

crosses legs

crosses arms

sweats profusely

today i asked joe to hang out with me tomorrow and it immediately put me in a bad mood. i don’t know what i’m going to do tomorrow when i actually see him.

i’m just so lonely and sad. even though i’m spending lots of time with my great friends i still feel really empty. i want somebody to sleep with me in my new apartment but there isn’t anybody.

“You also seem like you’re not in this to play games and neither am I: So what I am looking for a woman to have a fun, stable, drama-free time and seeing where it goes. Interested?”

1) i’m not a woman

2) i said in my profile i’m not looking for anything serious because i just got out of a really dedicated relationship did you even really read it

3) you are almost a decade older than me

4) your profile picture is of your abs